Emerson says...

Hey, ya'll!  Life has been pretty good in the Gutshall home!  Lyla started sleeping through the night a little over a month ago and I am a new woman.  I am getting 8 straight hours of sleep at night and it is glorious.  I am actually energized enough to do things like clean, cook, and not nap and I am generally pleasant to be around!  In all seriousness, though, 2013 was just a hard year.  With foster care and transitioning into have two kids, one of which is a baby with a milk protein allergy and terrible sleep habits, the entire year was just. hard.  As Lyla has hit 10 months old, she is just getting easier and bigger and really fun.  I am amazed that next month I will have a 1 and 3 year old.  I can't even wrap my mind around it.  I have to say that having another baby is not even on the radar yet, because we are JUST getting past the hard stage and I am loving my "big kids" and our little family.  We had such a fun night tonight just rough housing and wrestling and Lyla totally joins in on the fun now.  I am totally savoring this fun stage.  Ok, so here are some funny recent Emerson quotes...

1.  While face timing with my parents...
Emerson: I have water in my ears from my bath!
Nana: Oh no!  You're going to have to shake that out!
Emerson: No, I'll just use those little sticks with the fuzzies on the end to get it out!
(AKA Q-tips).

2.  While face timing with my parents later...
Nana: You are going to be so smart just like your daddy! (I still can't figure out why she didn't say mommy, but that's beside the point)
Emerson:  No... I don't have moles on my head like daddy does.  Maybe I'll grow some when I get older! (Apparently moles make you smart, folks!  That must be Caleb's secret!)


3.  Caleb's grandpa passed away about a month ago and while trying to explain this to Emerson, the conversation went like this (Emerson hasn't really been exposed to the idea that people die)...
Caleb: Do you remember who great grandpa is?  Where did we see great grandpa last?
Emerson: At the doctor.  (true statement)
Caleb: Well, grandpa didn't get better.  He died and he went to be in heaven with God.
Emerson: (without skipping a beat) Is Goliath with God?
Caleb:  ......... I'm not sure.

4.  One day, Emerson pointed out to me that girls have hair like mommy (long) and boys have hair like him (short).  So, in an effort to prevent awkward public comments (ie: is that a boy or girl? etc.), I told him that sometimes you will see women with short hair or men with long hair.  And I listed some people like that, that he knows.  Later, as I was laying him down for his nap, Emerson says... "Some boys have long hair, some boys have funny hair, and some boys have smoke detectors."

??? This was one of those moments that I laughed out loud in that moment.  SO random.

5.  He has a hard time keeping the words "strong" and "heavy" straight.  Therefore we get lots of comments like, "Mommy, you are so heavy!" when he means "strong".  lol.  It just makes me laugh when he says that.

6.  Emerson is into telling secrets these days, but it is always the same secret.  Thankfully, it is a very good secret that melts a momma's heart.  He comes over to me...
Emerson:  Mommy!  I have to tell you a secret!
(He moves my hair out of the way so he can find my ear and whispers...) I love you, mommy.

That secret sure never gets old!

About 6 months ago, I wrote a "funny quotes" post and it had some good ones on it.  It is just pretty fun when they say crazy things.  We love that boy!

Emerson has a few good buddies that I hope he stays friends with for years to come.  Great boys.  Graham and Emerson know each other from play group and have been friends since they were babies.

This is Little Caleb (my husband is Big Caleb) and they have been friends since the womb days.  They have loads of fun together.

Emerson got bronchiolitis and had to do breathing treatments :(  I was very grateful that Lyla didn't get it because it would have been much more serious in a baby.

Flowers for mommy!  Training him to be a gentleman early :)

Loving the snow days.  This boy will always have momma's heart.

My little race car drivers.

E's first goatee.

That's all folks!  Happy early Valentine's Day!

Sweet Pea, Apple of my Eye

Lyla girl is 10 months old now!  I can't believe she's this old, but I'm also a little relieved to be past the little baby stage and into the fun, learning stage.  We are loving this spunky girl.  I still think she is going to have quite a sense of humor and fun-loving personality.  It's so fun seeing her personality unfold, trying to figure her out.  Here are a few stats about her:

-At her 9 month appt, she was 75% for height, 30% for weight, and 50% for head.  She currently wears 6-9 month and 12 month clothing.  Size 2 shoes.
-She surprised us at Christmas by walking her little push toy.  We didn't know she could do that.
-She is so active.  She is a very fast crawler and sometimes she reminds me of a little spider.  She cruises all around furniture and basically gets around.  She loves to be in the action too.
-Praise God, she started sleeping through the night, only like a week ago.  But I already feel much more rested.  Consequently, her eating has improved too.  When she was still doing night feedings, she was not so interested in nursing or solids during the day.  Now she loves both.
-She has taken 2 steps at a time, but doesn't go further than that.  So, I think we will have an official "walker" in a few weeks.
-I can eat dairy now, but I had ice cream last night and she was pretty fussy today, so I think more creamy dairy like that still affects her a little.  But I'm very glad she seems to be outgrowing this.  Caffeine still affects her.
-She is into toilets, trashcans, and diaper pails these days.  Sigh.
-She is starting to obey "no, no" sometimes.  She has finally given up on the dog food.
-She really loves mama right now, especially if she gets hurt or is fussy.  However, she gets very excited to see Caleb when he gets home from work.  It's pretty darn cute.
-She also says "mama" now and I love it, because Emerson didn't say mama til he was 1.  And she definitely associates it with me.  I got a massage today (thanks, hubby!) and while I was gone, Caleb said she kept asking for me saying "mama" repeatedly.  "Dada" was her first word, however.  She has possibly said "dog" and "bubba", but I'm not totally convinced.
-She can point out some objects in books.  She loves to point in general :)
-She is not one for kissing lately, but some mornings, after I get her out of bed and feed her, she'll give me a great, big kiss and I soak it up!!
-She recently got both top front teeth, so she now has 4.  I think she is working on the ones beside her top front two, though.
-She hates taking medicine.  Loathes it.
-She is very mischievous.  Pesters brother.  Determined to get into the toilet.  And get this... the other day, after I sucked her nose (she's been sick since Thanksgiving), I picked her up to comfort her and she deliberately grabbed my hair and pulled it!  And when I moved my hair, she started looking for my earrings to pull!! She knows those are both "no, no's" so she was purposely trying to get even with me!  I didn't know whether to laugh or worry about how full our hands will be with this girl!  Oh, dear.
-She is still a mini-me.  I can't tell you how many times I have heard these exact words: "She looks JUST like you!!"

Ok, I think this is a long enough list.  We are having lots of fun with our two littles these days.  We do have the sharing disputes and picking on each other issues, but we are also enjoying having an older baby and the freedoms that come along with it.  My heart bursts with love for my babies and I can't believe they are growing right before my eyes.  Am I really about to have a 1 and 3 year old?  I'm baffled.  I'm blessed.  Here are some pics!

Lyla's First Snow... She didn't quite know what to think.

 The following picture was one of my most favorite moments.. both kids had just woken from their naps and were very cuddly.  My arms and heart just felt SO full.  Please notice how Emerson and Lyla are looking at each other.  And how Emerson is touching Lyla.  Be still my heart!

Big girl!

Look at me, mom!

The dog crate is always a favorite among kids this age :)

My Blog

Hey friends!  So, if you are a regular-ish follower you may have noticed that I've been slightly absent from the blog lately.  To be honest, initially I chose to take a little break to kind of examine my motives behind having a blog and also ask myself what the purpose of my blog is.  When I first began my blog, I was pregnant with Emerson and wanted to start a blog to just document our family life.  But as time went on, it became very easy to fall into the blog world, caring too much about page views and comments and comparing myself to other bloggers, even though this is just a little old family blog!  Silly, I know.

So, after considering it, I have decided to continue blogging semi-regularly and to mainly keep it about our family.  I know this is not a topic that gets big time page views, but that is not the purpose of my blog.  I want to document our family life just so I have it to look back on one day when my little ones are not so little anymore.  And, who knows, maybe they would like to look at it too one day.  So, I'm sorry I won't be blogging about popular topics.  I will probably only blog about other things if I really feel led by the Lord to do so.  Maybe one day when the kids are in school and I have more time, I will devote more time to the blog.  But for now, it will be about the fam.

Along with the new year, many desires spring up within me to do better at things.  There are so many things I could do better at  right now... cleaning, eating, exercising, home projects, blogging, to name a few, which are mostly worldly things in my opinion.  Since it is not very realistic for me to devote lots of time to those things right now, I feel led to make a few things my priorities.  One, spiritual growth.  I want to write His Word on my heart.  I want regular Spirit empowered prayer.  I want to be used by Him, however he wants to use me.  And I want to be all here, with my family.  Caleb and I are challenging ourselves to put away our phones.  I'm tired of carrying that thing with me everywhere I go.  I don't want to be glued to it anymore.

So, yeah.  That's what's going on here I guess :)  I will try to write a Lyla update this week!  Enjoy the beautiful winter wonderland and stay warm!

Lyla Girl at 8 months!

So, it's been 2 1/2 months since I last posted.... But let's just pretend it never happened.  Deal?  Deal.  Where to begin... I'll just begin with a Lyla update!

Baby Dedication- 7 mos

Baby Dedication photo with Nana and Papa

Lyla is now 8 months old and as cute as ever.  Her seventh month was a big month for her as she started crawling, pulling up, clapping her hands, self-feeding, turning pages in books, and got two teeth!  The girl is active, y'all.  She now follows me around the house, wants to taste the toilet, and pulls up on anything and everything (for example: her brother or the dog).  She already tries to let go and stand alone.  I think I have my hands full.

However, I do love the age where they begin to learn at such a fast pace.  I feel like she is understanding certain words and I can communicate with her a little more.  The girl STILL does not like to sleep through the night.  I joke about it on here, but I have a breakdown about every week and a half because she still wants to eat 2-3 times a night.  I had no idea what sleep deprivation was like until this child.  We have been really trying to push the solids during the day to help her get more calories (petite thing) in hopes that she will sleep longer, because momma isn't gonna make it much longer.  This sleep deprivation and weakness is really forcing me to try to trust God.  This morning I was encouraged by this verse and prayed it for myself

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."  1 Peter 5:10

You might be thinking, "Oh please, Amber, sleep deprivation is not suffering."  But I won't listen to a word you say unless you have experienced this before, for 8 months straight.  And the enemy, who prowls around looking for someone to devour, likes to attack those who are weak, like me for instance.  I won't keep complaining to you, because who wants to read a blog post of complaints!

I know I am very blessed.  I have two healthy children and I love them with all I am, even if they keep me up at night!  I also have to say that I am blessed by my church family who has encouraged and served me during this time of trials.  And I am thankful for my dear mother who kept Lyla in her room over our Thanksgiving visit and only woke me if necessary.  My mom is just that kind of lady, always trying to give and serve.  I am taking notes and plan to do that for my daughter one day!!

So, where was I...?  Lyla is SO happy during the day.  So smiley and giggly and cuddly.  Even though she is so active, she is very content to just sit in your lap too and I love that.  She will lay her head on your chest sometimes and I soak that up.  Sometimes she gives very slobbery kisses, and other times she thinks it's really funny to withhold kisses from you if you try to get one.  I think this girl might have a sense of humor.  She truly is a joy and a beauty.  I am loving having a little girl.  She has my heart and I hope and pray that we have a lifelong bond that God intended mothers and daughters to have.  I thought it would be fun to post her monthly picture to see how she has grown and changed :)

His Promises

I was at the park last week feeding the ducks with some friends.  I noticed along the bank of the pond there were some giant trees whose roots stretched down right into the water.  It was actually a really neat sight and I wish I had taken a picture, but it reminded me of Psalm 1.  "[Blessed is the man who] delights in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.  In all that he does, he prospers."  How wonderful for that tree to be planted right beside a source of water.  I think when doing a job like being a mom of littles, it is so easy to become weary , bone tired and exhausted, desperate to just survive each day!  I ask God to help me be like that tree planted by a water source.  Help me to dig my roots down into the Word so I can have that vital water that I need to survive, or produce fruit even!  What an encouraging verse to a mom of littles.

Another verse that I think is wonderful for moms of littles is Isaiah 40:11:

"He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young."

Yes, Lord.  Claim this verse for yourself, moms.  Lord, gather us in your arms, carry us in your bosom.  Gently lead me while I'm with young.  Yes, gently, because I feel so fragile some days.  I need you to carry me.  This is a promise from our God.  Claim it for yourself.  Pray it all day.  God knows this is a hard job.  That's why he even acknowledges that we need to be led, and gently at that!  He knows when I am up all hours of the night, and still expected to get up at dawn and care for my children all the way until their bedtime!  He knows I'm bone tired and emotionally unstable some days.  He knows about every meltdown I have to tame.  Lord, lead me.

Finally, God has another promise for us.  Matthew 11:28:  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  I am claiming this, you guys.  Give me rest, Lord.  Help me carry my burdens.  Give me the strength and love I need to be the mother and wife you want me to be today.  Give me rest in your arms.  Moms, this is probably one of the most physically demanding times of our lives.  God knows it.  He promises to carry us in his arms, to gently lead us moms, and to give us rest.  And he will use this difficult time to sanctify us and teach us and form us into the women he wants us to become.  Thank you, Lord, for continuing the work you've begun in us.

Half a Year

Is this little joy already 6 months old?  Wow.  I have to admit that the first few months were pretty hard.  I'm pretty glad we are past them!  But I do love this stage she is at now.  A few things about her:

1.  She knows what she wants and goes for it.  She will dive for objects or try to get anything mommy is holding by flailing her arms all about when I'm holding her.  She is a determined little lady.
2.  She still can't handle dairy.  I took half a bite of ice cream a few weeks ago and that resulted in blood in her stool the next morning!
3. She still wants to eat 2-3 times a night.  Usually I feel fine, but some days I am just bone tired and weary.
4.  She started sitting shortly after turning 5 months.
5.  She wants learn to crawl in order to get objects, but she doesn't like being on her belly for very long.  We'll see how that goes.
6.  She is fun-loving and a generally content baby.  She is usually pretty good at entertaining herself.
7.   At her 6 month appointment, she was 15 lb 12 oz (50%), and I don't know the exact measurements, but the doctor said 60% for length, and 40% for head.

Yes, Lyla is sittin' pretty in that picture up there, but I had to work hard to steal that one!  Here are the others I ended up with:

Brother is going to toughen this girl up!

FEET!!

Lol, you would think all her different poses were intentional!  Clearly, we can't get the girl to sit still.  And we have the hardest time keeping brother out of the pictures!  He can't stand it when I take her picture each month.  Cracks me up.  So far, Emerson and Lyla are pretty good buddies.  I pray they always are.

Happy 1/2 year sweet girl!  I love you forever!

What Makes a Daughter Beautiful?

One thing I have noticed since having a baby girl is how often people call her pretty.  As a little girl I remember being told the same thing.  Growing up with sisters, I think looks were probably mentioned a lot around us.  It's just funny to me, because when I had Emerson, I don't remember people commenting on his looks so much (usually he was called smart).  For some reason, people feel that when you are complimenting a girl, it should be about how she looks (I'm guilty of it too!).

A few years ago, I remember wondering if I would have struggled so much with insecurity about my image if external beauty wasn't emphasized so much growing up (not necessarily by my parents, but people in general, plus media).  What if I was complimented more on my abilities, or intelligence, or joy, or heart, or leadership, or good works, etc.  But I guess even these type compliments are all focused on me and my ability to do something.  Which would ultimately put pressure on me to succeed in some form or another.  This would eventually result in failure and disappointment in myself, because no one can be perfect at something their whole life. And one might be willing to go to extreme measures to maintain that characteristic.  My identity and self-worth should not be found in any of these, but in the fact that I am a child of God, chosen by Him, and covered in His grace. This fact is unchanging and does not depend on my works or ability to do anything. 

So, now that I have a daughter, how does this affect the way I speak to her or build her up?  It's not like I will refuse to call her beautiful!  She is beautiful.  God does make beautiful creations and it is good to praise Him for that.  But I certainly don't want to make that the only or most frequent thing I say about her.  That would teach her that her beauty is what is most valuable about her, which it isn't.  It is not wrong to tell her that she is smart, or coordinated, or sweet, or a good artist either.  God designed us to be able to do and be these types of things... to be creative and active and capable of learning lots of things.  After all, we are made in His image and He is those things.

So, how, as parents, do we help our children view themselves rightly, as God sees them, and not according to the world's standard?  Maybe we should start by helping them to see God rightly.  As He has revealed Himself in Scripture.  It seems impossible to view ourselves rightly when we don't view God rightly.  The better we know Christ, the more we see our sinfulness and need of a Savior.  And the better we know Scripture and the good news in it, the better we understand God's great and unwavering love for us.  And we will know that we did nothing to deserve it, but it was a free gift and God chose to give it to us. 

Would understanding the Gospel not help our children to develop humble, grateful attitudes and self perceptions?  However, I also know that a parent can only do so much to lead their child to Christ.  It is out of our hands at some point, which is why our children's souls should constantly be in our prayers.

I have not reached a conclusion about this.  These comments are just where my thoughts take me when I think about it.  I have seen opposing views on blogs from other Christians... some go so far as to say you shouldn't tell them they are pretty and others believe it is what girls need to hear!  What do you think?  How can we teach our children to see God rightly and to see themselves as God sees them?  How can we teach our daughters to find their self-worth in the fact that they are a child of God?

Please know I am not writing this to create a debate or anything.  I just think it is good to think about parenting and parent on purpose, not just fly by the seat of our pants or make things up as we go (all the time at least!).  I'd love to hear your thoughts!