Ok, so now that Emerson is sound asleep I am sitting down to write out my birth story. I want to document this because it is such a big event in the life of our family and I don't want to ever forget it. Hopefully you will enjoy reading it too :)
Two days before my due date, March 24th, I had a doctor's appointment and left slightly disappointed because I was only dilated to 1 cm. I was 90% effaced and Emerson had dropped very low, but hardly any dilation. I was becoming more certain that I would be overdue and wouldn't be meeting my son for at least a week. The next day, March 23rd, I woke up and had a little bit of "bloody show", which is a sign that you will be going into labor in a day or two. So I was very excited and made sure everything we prepared to bring our little one home. That day, Caleb and I tried some labor inducing tricks. We went on a loong walk up "Labor Hill". We named this hill "Labor Hill" previously after walking it in an attempt to go into labor, but it didn't work the first time. We also tried pressing my pressure points that night. Finally, I sat on the birthing ball for a long time, hoping it would help me dilate. Who knows if any of these things helped. But I did have some more bloody show that evening.
We began to climb into bed at about 11 o'clock that night. We read a Proverb together and said our nightly prayer. As Caleb was praying, I began to feel some contractions that were slightly painful. They quickly became more noticeably painful and I told Caleb that I thought I was going into labor. We began timing the contractions and they averaged about 3 minutes apart, pretty close together! So Caleb called his parents and notified them about it, since they live 4.5 hours away. Then I jumped into the shower as Caleb began collecting our last minute items we wanted to bring to the hospital. Caleb took a quick shower too.
We wanted to labor for a long time at home, but when we realized how close together my contractions were, we decided it was the wisest thing for us head to the hospital. On the way, I became more aware of how I did not like being asked questions or told to make decisions while in so much pain. Caleb learned that very quickly too.
We checked into the hospital around 12:30 AM. They got me all settled in triage and measured me. I was so relieved when they said I was 4 cm. I feared going into the hospital only to be sent home, because I heard you get a $1000 fee for doing so. My mom soon arrived (thirty minutes before expected, due to her speeding ;) and Caleb and I got into our groove of breathing and relaxing through each contraction. After about an hour and a half we were moved into the labor and delivery room, which is much more homey and comfortable than triage. We dimmed the lights in this room and turned on some soothing classical music.
The next 6ish hours are a blur. All I remember is that I would try to relax my entire body as I experienced a contraction. I think I even dozed off between some of the contractions. It almost seemed like I would disconnect my mind from the pain my body was experiencing. Hard to explain. The contractions got stronger and longer as time went on. Sometimes I would look at the clock and an hour would have passed unnoticed. Other times I would look at the clock only to find 5 minutes had passed. Caleb and I tried various laboring positions (lying down, slow dancing, birthing ball, etc.) and the contractions felt more intense in some positions over the others. Caleb did a fantastic job of staying by my side the entire time and constantly speaking words of encouragement to me. I seriously would not have been able to do it if he weren't by my side.
After laboring for several hours, my water still had not broken. The nurses said it would break with any contraction. But it didn't. At 5 AM I measured at 7 cm and I was 100% effaced. At 8:15 AM I was only at an 8, meaning I only dilated 1 cm in over 3 hours. But, thankfully, when the nurse checked me at 8:15, she accidentally broke my water. This is what helped me finally progress. But with progress comes pain... lots of pain. Within 15 minutes the pain was so great that I was dry heaving to the side of the bed, clinging to the side of the bed for dear life and crying for an epidural. I was truly in a state of panic. I had been in control for the past 9 hours of labor, but I was not in control anymore. Caleb didn't try to talk me into doing it without an epidural (smart move), but I did notice that there were tears in his eyes. I wasn't sure why (because I wanted to quit or because Emerson was almost here?) but he told me later it was because he didn't like seeing me in so much pain.
The nurse asked if I really wanted to throw in the towel after coming this far. I decided I wanted her to measure me again and if I still hadn't progressed at all then I wanted an epidural. She measured me and I was a 9! She told me that I would soon start feeling the urge to push, rather than feeling contractions. She was right; after a couple more contractions I began pushing. It was like the urge to throw up... when you have the urge to throw up, you can't control it. That's how I felt with pushing. They usually like you to wait to push until they tell you to, but I was pushing and couldn't be stopped! The nurse measured me and said I was pretty much a 10, so she let me keep pushing (like I could've stopped it or something).
This next part might be a little graphic (just a warning for those of you with weaker stomachs.. or if you are a guy it might be awkward for you to read this). As I began to push, my mom was on one side of me and Caleb was on the other. They had to help me pull my legs back and my torso up into a pushing position with each push. After pushing about 30 minutes, which felt like 10, they told me they could see Emerson's head. This was the final motivation I needed to push with everything I had. Let me tell you, this was a HUGE workout. So intense. The doctor came into the room, with a few minutes to spare. Finally, with one final push, out came little Emerson's head and the rest of his body "shot out" afterward (Caleb's words). It was the weirdest sensation feeling a squirmy, wet little person slip out of my full, round belly, only to leave my tummy flat/squishy. Emerson was immediately placed on my tummy and I held his wiggly little body all the while crying out things like "I'm so happy!" "He's finally here!" "My baby!", etc. Definitely an emotional moment. As Emerson laid on my tummy, Caleb did the honor of cutting Emerson's umbilical cord.
If you asked me right after our delivery if I would have my next baby naturally, I would've told you that I wasn't sure... maybe not. However, as 10 days have passed now, I have decided I think I would try it again. Out of the entire 10.5 hour labor, only 20 minutes of it felt unbearable. It was nice to be in control of my body for the pushing and Emerson was so awake and alert for the next few hours after the delivery. He was instantly a natural at breastfeeding. My recovery has gone so smoothly and some attribute a quick recovery to a natural childbirth. Either way, epidural or not, birthing a little human into the world is such a beautiful, emotion-filled moment. How amazing it is that God created a woman's body to be able to do such a thing. What a beautiful way to create new life and bring it into the world.
Emerson is already such a joy to us. Being a mom is a wonderful thing. Emerson has already stolen my heart (times a billion) and I think I keep loving him more each day. What a blessing.
I'm so glad your family is doing well!
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